Sharing Magazine

Are You Comfortable?

by By Anne Browne

I have learned that participating in healing ministry means more than being open to whatever the Holy Spirit presents as I encounter others in my daily activities, which is, for me, a comfortable kind of Christian action. And, because I am a native Texas lady, born and bred and raised in the “be friendly” tradition, it is my usual behavior to smile at folks and to say “Hi,” and “How are you?”. Now it is no negligible thing to set out to make the world a friendlier place. We have all heard that if we see a person without a smile, we should give them one of ours. I’m quite comfortable doing this.
I find being engaged in healing as ministry involves acting as the apostles did: responding to a broken world with God’s healing, loving presence. I believe that apostolic action means that each of us is called to see Christ in every person we encounter and to be Christ to each of those persons. So simple! And sometimes not comfortable!
I recently had an opportunity to move from my nice, warm, fuzzy, non-specific action plan into apostolic action. Here is how the Holy Spirit bumped me out of my comfort-zone: I have an assigned parking space at my apartment complex, and have exchanged ‘Howdys’ with a gentleman whose balcony overlooks it for most of the year I’ve lived there. Not long ago, he called out as I was coming home one evening and asked that I pray for him. Still well within my comfort zone, I assured him that I would, and I did. I continued to say “Hi” and ask “How are you doing?” to which he’d reply, “Not very well.” About a month ago, I got a “nudge from the Judge” as Fr. Josh Acton calls one of those definite urges from the Holy Spirit. I was prompted to tell him that if he would like to talk, I would be available to listen. About a week later he took me up on the offer. Between the time I replied, “Sure! Come on down!” and the time he got to my front door, a span of about ten minutes, all those cautionary tales we’re told from childhood about what happens when a stranger enters your house started playing loudly in my ears. Here I am, a somewhat tubby old lady: definitely not able to run away from danger. What if this guy is…I was definitely moving beyond my comfort zone! So I began to pray, calling on the presence of the Holy Spirit – and the Father and the Son, too! I also telephoned two sisters in Christ, giving them a brief account of what was going on and asking that they pray for me and for my neighbor. Meanwhile I continued to remind myself – and God – that I know all things work together for good for those who love the Lord; that I know He is leading me into this and will faithfully see me through it. My favorite prayer in moments like this is “Lord, keep your arm around my shoulders and your hand over my mouth!” by which I mean “let me say only what You would have me say.” And, later, when my neighbor and I had talked and prayed together, I called my two prayer partners back with thanks for their participation, protection, and continuing prayer. I continue to pray for my neighbor as he struggles with his unmanageable life, confident not only that God can and will heal the whole man, body, soul, and family, but that God is eager to do this!
I have learned, in addition, that a sign to me that it is God who has put an unexpected person in my way is that I am really skeptical about doing whatever He calls me to do. My instantaneous reaction is “Seriously God, you want me to do WHAT?” Knowing that He really does want me to do something outside myself is my clue that this may not be from me. For example: not long ago I was kneeling in my pew after receiving Eucharist when a young man for whom our prayer team has often prayed crossed my line of sight. Noticing he looked more strained than usual, I began to pray for his healing. Suddenly I was getting “a nudge from the Judge.” Now I was fairly new in this parish and did not know a great deal about this man, just that we pray for a toxic family situation; I got a clear message that this man was beset by a demon of fear. And I was to tell him so. And to pray for him to be girded in the whole armor of God.
My immediate reaction was to begin arguing vigorously with God. “You want ME to announce this to this man? NO WAY! Who am I to do this? I’m not qualified for this!” And, looking for an escape hatch, “How can I be sure this is coming from you, Lord? What kind of damage might I do to this dear and rather fragile person? Isn’t there somebody better able to do this? No, no, no! Not me, Lord!”
All God said was “Oh, yes, you’re the one I want for this. If you weren’t perfectly qualified for this, would I have called you?” meanwhile bathing me in His loving presence.This continued through the thanksgiving and the final hymn. Need I note that I was intensely UN-comfortable all the while?
As we began the last verse of the recessional hymn, I began to feel God’s peace and love. So I said, “All right! Lord, if this is from you, please put this man in my path as we leave. If I have to go hunt him down, I’ll know it’s not from you (and I won’t have to get out of my ‘comfort zone’), ok?”
I hadn’t finished gathering up my purse and Prayer Book before there he was, right at the end of my pew as I turned towards the aisle. DEEP breath: “Ok, Lord, here we go! Please give me your words to do this.”
Neither of us was really comfortable for the next few minutes. As we talked, he shared with me that he has had “generalized anxiety disorder” for years and was willing to accept what I said about the demon of fear, but when I began to talk about the whole armor of God, described by Paul in Ephesians, he began to duck his head and avoid eye-contact. Finally, he said, “I can’t do that.”
Once again, I learned that God never sends us to do his work alone. I have no doubt it was the Spirit’s words I heard coming from my mouth next, as I heard myself say, “That’s ok. I will hold in my heart the image of you armored with the belt of truth, and all the other pieces until you are ready to take it on. And you don’t need to put it all on at once. When you’re ready, you might just start with the belt of truth.” Immediately he relaxed, smiled, and said, “Thanks. I can try that much.”
In the weeks since this encounter this young man has experienced tremendous healing in his life. More and more we see peace in his face these days. There were several important things for me to learn from these experiences. First, that God is always present and that, as promised, He will be the speaker when we ask Him to be. Second, that healing is God’s business, and that he uses us, “unqualified” though we may be. Next, that He calls me to prayerfully step beyond comfortable friendliness into personal presence with unexpected people, trusting that, when I say, “Ok, God! If this is really what you want me to do, I trust You to be here, leading me through whatever comes, filling my mouth with Your words, my heart – my whole being – with your profound love. Trusting, above all, that You really will do what You say You will do: BE with us, every step of the way,” and, over and over, sure enough, there He is! How exciting!
I invite you, too, to step out of comfort into the exhilaration of the active presence of Our Lord as miracles of healing take place by His Grace.